The other day I ask this guy how he’s doing and he has the nerve, THE NERVE, to respond to my perfunctory greeting with a perfunctory, “Can’t complain”. Can’t complain?! That’s a damn dirty lie! You can always complain and complaining is my favorite. My favorite thing to complain about is other people, because I have no control over them, so I ALWAYS have something to complain about. For example, I compulsively gorge myself on bundles, but the bundle guy sometimes puts games in there I don’t want. Read my mind bundle guy! So, after incorporating the nutritious games into my unwieldy backlog matrix, I’m left with an even more unwieldy pile of bundle poop*. Despite how much humanity seem to like bundles, they have only created more problems for man. And speaking of man, oh man am I getting pumped up by all this complaining! I feel like a baby goat head-butting a chicken!! Now, come eat from the bundle poop* trough!

*Bundle poop™ is a trademark of Fyantastic™. Fyantastic™ is a trademark of MikeyMcMikenson.

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6 years ago*

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What do you like to complain about?

View Results
It’s struck in my teeth!
Can’t find my keys!
Tuesday?!? I thought it was Thursday!!
This medium is actually a small/large!
They didn’t do the dishes/laundry!
Bundles!
She wore THAT again?!
They should of used proper grammer and spelling!
“moist”, “chunk”, “panty”, “ointment”, “snug”, etc.!
“Are you working hard or hardly working?”
He thinks he’s sooo cool!
Society/Oprah!
They left the toilet seat up/down!
Cousin Jimmy’s lazy eye needs to get a job!
Can’t complain!
Other – please specify, in excruciating detail, in the comments below!

I have lyme disease. I could complain for hours just about my conditions, my unfair treatment, and how shitty most people are around me, just taking things, like steamgifts games, for instance. Otherwise, all good here! Off to the doctor!

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6 years ago
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Those are terrific complaints!! Good job! I'd like to point out that you ended a wonderful list of complaints with a trip to the doctor's office which is the place to get suckers, so unless you forgot to get a sucker, it's not really a complaint.

6 years ago
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leBump

6 years ago
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bumpity

6 years ago
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I complain about BUMPS

6 years ago
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Taken from a documentary about jokes told in the Soviet Union about life in the Soviet Union:

A man has arrived from the Soviet Union in the United States of America and is seeking asylum.
The official asks, "What's the government like in your country?"
"Can't complain", he replies.
"What's the political situation like in your country?"
"Can't complain."
"What's the human rights situation like in your country?"
"Can't complain."
"Well, why do you want to leave your country?"
"CAN'T COMPLAIN!"

6 years ago
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Ohhhh. A way to say, "Can't complain", while also complaining! Thank you for this wonderful gift!!

6 years ago
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buump!

6 years ago
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boomp!

6 years ago
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12 hours left bump!

6 years ago
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Deleted

This comment was deleted 5 months ago.

6 years ago
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View attached image.
6 years ago
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Ohhhh. Another way to essentially say, "Can't complain," while also complaining! Thank you for this wonderful gift!!

6 years ago
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Bump!

6 years ago
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Bump dood!

6 years ago
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Can't bump :/

6 years ago
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Master the complaining. Complain about all these complaints. I mean: seriously, don't they have a life? Getting troubled by such trivialities ...

6 years ago
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Top shelf complaint! Good job!!

6 years ago
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I can complain
but I won't

6 years ago
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I met a girl...and she's pretty awesome...so I really can't complain. Sorry!

EDIT to say that I'm 41 and she's 32, so the term "girl" is probably politically incorrect, but I don't care.

6 years ago
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Bumping for complaints.

6 years ago
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bump

6 years ago
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bump

6 years ago
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