The good thing is that even if people look at you they also forget about you pretty soon. We all assume we are judged way more than we actually are. After a chance interaction people won't remember you at the end of the day when they get home but we think people do and are afraid of what they think of us.
While in reality they are plenty busy with their own stuff and really don't care much about random person x they see at the other side of the counter, on the way to work, etc. Just think of how many people you actually remember (and care enough about to form an opinion on) after being out for a day.
Of course when you are a hot girl™ things are a little different.
And even rationally knowing this still doesn't make it that much easier to talk to certain people...
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We all assume we are judged way more than we actually are
Then I don't know why, when I'm thinking "oh good, at least nobody is staring me right now", someone comes to ask me why do I look so sad... I tell ya, I'm afraid of the staring but I realize they stare even more than I thought.
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Well, when you are a pretty girl all alone, all bets are off... It might suck but that's just how things are.
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We never have good music like that where I live O.o (It's safe to assume Megadeth and Sepultura cover bands are always awesome, right?) I'm kinda jealous, on the other hand I probably wouldn't go because I would be alone in a sea of strangers. Good that you went, I hope you could enjoy the music :) Also I want your shirt.
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Yeah, the cover bands were cool. Didn't mess up the songs too badly. No need to be jealous though, I bet your country gets way more nice concerts there, I kind of live in a dump but even real Megadeth has been here at least twice...
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Happy to hear that :). TIL Megadeth is in my country next month (with the last time being 7! years ago).
But yeah, I guess you're right. Now I only need the courage to actually go to a concert, the last time I had a small panic attack in the middle of a crowd xd
By the way, your shirt, was it a t-shirt first? Or always a tanktop? I have a pretty awesome t-shirt with Peace Sells on it that would be better as a tanktop, but I'm not sure how.
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It was men's L size T-shirt, now it's women's S size tank top... I just cut the front and back part out to my size, and used the rest to cut out some straps for the shoulders and neckline part. It's not very hard, if you first secure everything by hand stitches, and then use a sewing machine.
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this is an achievement to remember the next time you feel anxious about something. yes it was scary but you DID it and enjoyed it. these kinds of moments are memories to treasure as they can be used to draw strength and smiles later
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I don't odd. Thanks for the gibs, you're fugly.
Edit: You're a pretty lady, you could exploit that and get rid of your anxiety. Think of me :/, I'm an ugly person and I have anxiety more than you do, I usually don't go any crowded events because I don't like people, I even reduced my Facebook friends list from 300 to 50. I usually spend my day either sleeping, masturbating or watching Heroes.
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That's a nice and indirect way to say I'm not ugly, but guess what? I consider myself ugly, at least in average.
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Well, same. Feelsbadman. But for some reason some people seem to like my looks... shrug
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I find you ugly.
Kidding, you look pretty honestly. After all, a woman's true beauty lays in her cuteness and intelligence(and beauty too).
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And that's why I don't feel pretty... I'm not "cute", I look scrawny, intimidating, and I have Robocop jawline.
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Cuteness has nothing to do with how attractive you look like, it's just about how you generally look like. Being thin isn't a problem either, you could just add few more calories to your food and problem solved if you want to look "unscrawny". You don't look intimidating, you look funny. Your jaw looks fine to me o.O.
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Cuteness has to do with how feminine and innocent you look, and I'm saying I don't look either. And the "just add calories" thing doesn't really work, I'm already eating as much as I'm comfortable with, and that's like half of what normal people eat or something. Also, my height. "Cute" just isn't meant for me, sorry not sorry.
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I find you more cute and attractive than most of the girl I've ever known.
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Oh yeah? Well I'm probably taller than you and I'm fucking jacked so I could probably beat you up irl with one hand so fight me.
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That's hot my dear. I like tall girls with fighting spirit. And no, you wouldn't beat me even if you're tall, I weight 85kg you know. BRING IT ON
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Yeah you're too fat to move, I'll fucken demolish you with my well placed swift crane kicks and shit.
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I might be slow to move, but my critical is too high and I can carry you and run away. I once had a fight with a dude twice as much as me, I just carried a rock and hit him in the head :D.
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Sepultura was born in the ame city I was born, Belo Horizonte, Brazil. I'm proud. :)
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I'd like to point out my user name real original cough. I bet nobody can guess what I did... I am so clever. Yea. I saw megadeth back in 2006 :)
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Congrats on overcoming your anxiety for the night. <33333
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Didn't overcome, just endured it somehow. :P But thanks, need those anxiety sessions because longer times away from people only make the next event even more terrifying.
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Totally agree with you on your latter point. I'm an agoraphobic with social anxiety; if I go a month without leaving my house, I end up in a total panic the next time I need to go out. Xanax helps but not nearly enough! :o
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Yesyes... I had Xanax but didn't like to take it, because it's not healthy, so even if I have it, I usually just prefer to be anxious than actually take it... thinking like "I can take it any time... if it gets worse" but usually I try to play strong... But it's still nice to have it as a plan B, the thought that you can take something is comforting enough.
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i don't like people xD but im weird so.... :p.and i have anxiety...but doing funny things make people don't to talk to me xD
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I can understand anxiety, especially that scenario where you want to do the thing, but feel you can't since everyone else will be there doing the thing too, so you worry about every little thing imaginable, but since you really wanna, you endure the best you can to pull the thing off.. glad it worked out for you, stay strong and able, and thx for the giveaways! :) (PS: "weirdness" is a funny feeling/state of mind, and a good one at that, my advice would be to embrace it)
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We do have a lot of cover bands here, maybe even too many, and I'm lucky enough to live close to a pub where they do live rock/punk/metal music every week.
I used to suffer from anxiety and panic attacks when I was about your age.
Maybe it was when I realised that we're all gonna die anyway, I don't know, but it just went away when I grew older.
I am a lot more cynical now, but I still have my Iron Maiden shirts \m/
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How old are you now, if not a secret?
I've realized I'm going to die though, long ago. Another reason to be anxious about. Not sure why.
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Not too much of a secret I'm in my 30s
Maybe the difference is the way that realisation comes to you. Things happen! Usually to others, but sometimes to you too. Some of them may or may not change your whole perception of humanity and society.
Then I've spent probably 10 years without any social life at all. After work, the only person I would see was my girlfriend, who also was totally unsociable and refused to see anyone except me. Funny how weird people are put together by random events.
Now it's only just a bit different, I even joined a band - we play only metal and punk rock, Megadeth too sometimes, and sometimes we go to a jazz open mic to hear other people play quiet music as we have a pint after we've been playing heavy stuff for three hours straight.
I still can't have a normal conversation, but I don't miss that. I prefer weird ones anyway.
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Well... I'll be in my 30s next year.. but been kind of weird and anxious my whole life, and if anything, it has increased with time, so it's hard to believe it'll get better in 30s for me... but ayy, we'll wait and see I guess.
I could never, ever perform on a stage with a band, so you're doing awesomely. I'd just die of anxiety. I have so much stage fright that even if I knew the stuff perfectly, it would be gone when the eyes are staring and waiting for me to entertain them.
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Ah well I cheat: we don't perform live, we only do records :D
I still don't think I could perform in front of anyone. I would just stop breathing.
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What I like about you, is you refuse to compromise. You may see it as something of a fault, but I see it as a virtue. Someday, you're going to run into somebody who just "gets" you. You might not even know it right away. But believe me, nothing else matters - all that who deserves what and give-and-take nonsense is just what it sounds like, bullshit. It's just the baggage. All you need to do is keep looking and keep putting yourself out there.
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You're way braver than I am! My social anxiety gets worse each day, I break down even going to the post office. I saw someone in a previous comment say it's selfish and rude to not want to talk to someone who wants to talk to you, but in my case, and I'm assuming there are others like this too, sometimes I just cant talk to them, I freeze up and I've been told I'm rude because of it. I don't mean to be but it just happens. And if I know I'm gonna have a panic attack just from talking to someone I'm most likely gonna not talk to them :P So bravo to you for being courageous :D Also awesome music taste and shirt \m/
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*pat pat*
Luckily I can do things like post office or grocery store visits. It's mildly unsettling but nothing that bad. I guess it's because the people I see there are mostly of other generations or just kind of far from me in social sense, but going out to a place where people are more similar to me is different. And yeah, people judge others as rude for smallest reasons. They're dicks. :/
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In the end you had a fun experience I suppose so I am glad for you !!
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That actually includes both of the main things in my post. Good job. :3
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hi -don't mind me just coming through https://youtu.be/BD3VJGDqphM
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Anxiety sucks and I speak from experience. Personally I get really stressed out when around other people, one of the reasons I moved from the Baltimore area to the middle of nowhere Delaware. The only thing I have found to work is going into the experience expecting the worse so that the little things don't sting as much and treating the event almost like a performance. The more control over the way I think people perceive me the less anxiety I feel. Over time doing that Ive learned to be a little more relaxed in crowds, tough I still freak over personal space violations lol. Also Don't take this the wrong way, Im married with many kids and not trying to be a creep but you look good and thats always going to lead to guys trying to score especially at male dominated events.
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For some strange reason, I didn't listen this type of music for a while, so my opinion here is so useful like a mouse on a hot-tub.
Well, let's have a bump, then.
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Oh yeah, get some Angra, they're brazilians like me, and they kick asses!
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I'll bump the thread. Luckily you live in Estonia where people keep to themselves and there is small population density so you can always avoid people/ social interactions. If that is what you want of course.
But going to concerts and events is totally a different thing. I don't have problems going to events and people looking at me or whatever, but I don't like being surrounded by too many people. And also it's easier for me because I'm not an attractive looking woman getting attention from males.
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If you look closely and watch it for a few cycles, his hair looks like a jumping Komondor. (1st attachment)
A Komondor is a Hungarian dog, it looks something like this: (2nd attachment)
I feel you, btw. Anxiety can be a major pain in the ass, but it does get better over time, trust me. There is that old trick, where you imagine that everyone is naked around you, and any situation will become so funny, you will not feel anxious anymore. Maybe you will feel like a perv, but not anxious. Which is better. I think?
And there are those, that are much less fortunate than you, just imagine: (3rd attachment)
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but it does get better over time, trust me.
Nah dude. I'm kind of old already and been like that my whole life...
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What? You wrote that you are not even 30. How is that old? :P But seriously, I'm 33. It is better than it was 3 years ago. Don't stop getting better!
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Well... mine's worse than it was when I was ~18 for example.
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I'm sorry to hear that. I didn't had this problem that young, but from my experience, when it started, it was waaaay worse then now. It only started a few years ago, and it already got better, so I'm hoping that you can get better in time. I know its cliché, but don't give up on getting better. Think of it as a fight, if you give up thinking about getting better, or trying to find ways to get better, you won't get better then. The human mind is a shitty little devil. Once you have a condition, slowly, your mind gets used to it and just "stays" that way (or gets worse), because that stupid little bugger thinks that the situation is "normal". Only if you are focused of conquering the problem, can you defeat the "bad stuff". But of course you have to balance this, because if you think too much of the problem - like with any problem in life - you will not find a solution, but only make things worse. But I know it's not easy, I had some very bad moments. Think of the whole situation like getting an achievement. To achieve a state of well being where this anxiety is only at normal levels. I know having a problem like this is nothing like a game, and conquering your own mind is not a small task. But you must do this for your self, because quite frankly, others can help to a degree, but only you can truly "fix" this. You are still young, no matter what you think of yourself :P, and you own it to yourself to get better with this, so that you can live a life without this problem. Well, I'm not super with words, but I hope these few lines help and I wish you strength!
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I've had it more or less my whole life. As a very young kid, I only got scared of people when they said or did something negative to me, but as the time went on, I guess the negativity piled up somehow, and as I am now, I'm probably always expecting something negative because for some reason my brain seems to lack the mechanism that's supposed to get rid of negative associations... I guess.
No matter the reason, that's just how it works. Also I've never heard of anyone that has recovered from a personality disorder which I have (well, that's why they're called personality orders - because they're part of your personality) so no, sorry but I'm not going to try and "achieve" something that is impossible, and later feel more shitty for being so dumb and incompetent. I know very well what I have to do: just kind of be anxious and possibly get more anxious over time but realize and accept that's how I am... and guess what, I don't really have another option so I guess that's settles it.
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It's been kind of a stressful day in a good and bad way, so let me just rant and give away some games.
So, I won a ticket to a little gig. Nothing huge, just a 7€ thing, but anyway, trying to balance my karma here. There were bands that played Megadeth and Sepultura covers, and some OC bands too, but the main theme of the event was Megadeth's Rust In Peace. And yeah of course I wanted to wear my Megadeth shirt there, which was more like a nightgown to me so I spent the first half of the day trying to sew it into something wearable, and worrying if it will be ready in time. Managed to finish the shirt, but unluckily kind of messed up my planned hairdo so yeah more reason to be anxious over fugly hair. Did I tell you I have like probably every kind of anxiety there is? Well yeah.
Fast forward to the event, omgsomanypeople, like10oftheminthesameroom, trying to stay calm and all that. There was like 1 dude I knew and other dudes total strangers, and I swear they had some kind of conspiracy against my anxiety, because for some reason everyone talked to me. Well it was kind of cool to be not ignored as per usual but kind of scary anyway. And I even made a new Facebook friend. Still kind of anxious and weird, trying to chill down here... meanwhile, have gibses.
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/9AnZF/year-walk
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/2WpnT/bloodrayne
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/nvFWm/bloodrayne-2
Edit: I just noticed my whitelist number starts with 2 now, so throwing in a little extra, and let's make it a whitelist celebration thread, too:
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/VZ1Th/krautscape
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/gxdwi/grapple
You can post memes, gifs or anything cool. Especially stuff about Megadeth or anxiety.
Pic related, this is my anxiety-ridden face in Megadeth shirt, so everyone at the party could have a reason to ask me about my face, or my music taste.
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