Ah. The old 'deer in the headlights' look; that was me at my college graduation party. Look at it this way, your anxiety could be worse. My anxiety was so bad a couple of years ago (and still is when it comes to some things) that I probably would have considered faking a heart attack to escape. Obviously, I'm not an authority on how to overcome these issues or I wouldn't still be dealing with them, but it's not nearly as bad as it was. Personally, my problem was I lacked any self-confidence in social situations and was always afraid I would say something stupid, offend someone, make an ass of myself etc. The hardest part of getting past it isn't realizing that you're judging yourself too harshly, it's actually forcing yourself to give up those thoughts (which is still a work in progress; maybe someday I'll be able to have a face-to-face conversation with someone I don't know without trying to escape through the nearest exit). Honestly, once you realize that the people around you have probably already noticed and accepted your awkwardness and the fact that your not exactly comfortable in these situations, it actually makes it less nerve-racking since that behavior is just what they expect and it doesn't bother them. Once you realize that, it stops bothering you as much too (at least in some cases; in others you still kind of want to shoot yourself). At parties I also usually have a few drinks and it is amazing what alcohol does to alleviate anxiety, although it's unfortunately not a particularly good option in most other situations. This is just my personal experience, but hopefully it helps even if it's just in the fact that there are others just as miserable in these situations as you are.
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This is just my personal experience, but hopefully it helps even if it's just in the fact that there are others just as miserable in these situations as you are.
Yesyes, other people's misery makes me so happy. :P
Well, I don't drink alcohol, it's the worst thing ever. Even though I sometimes recommend it to other anxious people who aren't me.
A cool video about anxious drunk people, it's in French but has English subtitles.
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It's good to know that I'm spreading joy like the world's most depressing Santa Claus. :) That video seriously made my night. I've never gotten that drunk before, but now at least I know what will happen if I ever do lol.
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I'm pretty much the shy guy from the video, but with 60s hippie hair, and no taste for alcohol whatsoever.
I'm also a biologist, but my specialty is insects, so nobody really wants to hear about that.
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Fun fact: when I was a young kid, people (parents/grandparents) made fun of me like "she's going to be insect researcher when she grows up" because I liked little living stuff way more than inanimate toys, so I was bringing home all kinds of creepy crawlies. Once had a beetle (rose chafer), I built him a pen from blocks. Gave him banana. He actually accepted it. But he escaped. :(
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It is normal for us men to approach women and be the one to initiate a conversation. Clearly you were one of the more attractive ones in the room and your shirt was a clear indicator to them that you have something in common to talk about. I may not know you, but I can assure you that this isn't as big a deal as you may feel. I occasionally have these near-panic attacks and for no apparent reason so I know what anxiety is like. You need to learn to dissociate what you're feeling with what you are and for that, there's nothing quite like meditation. It has definitely helped me in so many ways.
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It clearly wasn't because of attractiveness... maybe for some of them, but there was also a guy who asked me why am I sad, and introduced his girlfriend to me, and invited me to hang out with them because he thought I looked so sad and lonely... so yeah I guess at least some part of the people do it because they pity me.
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Well, you do look like a mix between sad and angry. I'm not sure if I would even talk to you. Maybe your eye-liner exaggerates it, but alas, it's only 1 pic which doesn't show your posture or movement.
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I still think he was just trying to make sure I was okay or something. He's some kind of "big name" in Estonian metal scene, plays in bands and does lots of other metal related stuff, so possibly he was at least remotely responsible for this event too, so possibly wanted to be a good host and make "sad" people feel better... Can't say I'm not totally assuming the motives here but that's sure what it looked like.
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If he is one of the event organizers, I wouldn't be surprised that he spoke to you because he'd want to make sure everyone was having a good time; a good host, like you said. It seems being extroverted is the norm and selectively social people like me (and perhaps you) or even introverts have to put up a front of being social. Maybe take a date next time and that wouldn't be much of an issue. Where I'm from, I kinda have to take someone with me cause no one trusts a lone dude at clubs and what not. Heck, if I saw you alone at some gig I would probably speak to you too.
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Thank you and take this bump ;->
Jeha people are wierd, better never leave the basement at all ;->
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Ah yes, I'm on Team Anxiety!
Well, I would be if I wasn't afraid of teams.
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always thought good looking people dont have social anxiety, guess i was wrong, had crippling social anxiety too what seems to help is forcing myself in to these situations so much that at point ive got used to it, still feel weird, not as weird as before
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You're wrong about the good looking part... I'm like 4/10 but in some photos I can look like a 6 or something. By my standards, good looking starts from 8 or so. Enough reason to be anxious anyway.
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quit selling yourself short, id give u a 8/10 atleast for looks alone, sadly 1/10 with that attitude, sometimes attractiveness isnt all about looks
EDIT: might be a little biased
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Those issues are not something you can just "stop" when you want, or I probably would have done that already. I doubt anyone likes to feel anxious or ugly or anything, but there's no other option (been this way over 20 years already, tried multiple meds etc) so 1/10 it is.
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i wasnt talking about that, the attitude i was talking about was you selling yourself short, anyways sorry if it seemed i was blaming you for your social anxiety
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I had a Megadeth shirt once. The first night I wore it it got destroyed in a moshpit.
The best cure is to do these events more often. Its great you decided to show up, the easiest route was to just let it pass. So high five for that!
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That's how it's supposed to be done (the moshpit part). I personally don't enjoy it though. Never broke a bone in my body, and planning to keep it that way. Not sure why some people like pain... Adrenaline thing possibly... get enough of that from my anxiety.
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When youre young you just do that kinda things I guess. Its the adrenaline.
I stopped doing it after getting a boot in my face (At Dynamo Open Air watching Pantera) and a week later I thought it was smart to do a stagedive and the audience just moved out of the way. Only a black eye, bruises and a sore knee luckily. I've sticked to watching from the side or in the back. Never ever again.
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I thought it was smart to do a stagedive and the audience just moved out of the way.
Damn.... that's pretty bad. Faith in humanity lost.
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Live music is awesome - but similarly, I feel really uncomfortable in a huge crowd, so it's a no-go for me
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Cool shirt, I saw Megadeth once, it was amazing. Wish I could have seen Sepultura when they were still thrash. Anyhow, I am an introvert and definitely have some social anxiety, but I've overcome a lot of it by talking to people, and I've been traveling solo so I pretty much have to talk to people if I don't wanna be alone. I still get nervous talking to pretty girls like yourself, though.
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You look pretty scary, I mean both very pretty and that-serial-killer-glance kind of scary, I'd definitely avoid trying to talk to you, if it helps :D
(Well, I avoid talking to anyone whenever possible, so nothing unusual there :D)
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Yes, it helps. I don't know. It's a 50:50 thing, no idea if I like more to be scary, or to be attractive enough for people to talk to me... I guess both in moderate amounts.
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You need to trust yourself. When you do, the opinions of others does not matter. No more reasons for anxiety.
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If it was that easy, anxiety wouldn't exist, psychiatry as a whole wouldn't exists, anti-anxiety drugs wouldn't exist.... you get the idea. But I guess if you never had that, it's hard to realize how much of an actual thing it is to many people.
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Don't get me wrong, I never said is easy. Self knolodge is the path to maturity and freedom. But this takes time, patiance. You are young, it's normal. You will get through this. Time is the best friend, believe me.
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Have you not seen an old person with mental issues? I know I have.
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Anxiety or not, it's a nice picture of yourself and you are beautiful, be proud!
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Thank you for kind words. Can't promise to be proud though.
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Megadeth!! I went to a concert of theirs during their Blackmail the Universe tour. Fun times and geeez, that was soo long ago. As for anxiety, ya should get away from everything and everyone for a day or so. A change of scenery always helps.
There's also shopping (=
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Yep yep. I only have those events rarely, so lots of time to recover later, luckily. Most of the time living the hermit life.
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I understand you. At least I think I do. I've taken my time reading your comments and everything and well, it looks like we're kind of in the same side. At least all of that sounds familiar to me, very familiar.
Nothing more to say! I don't blame people trying to understand what is it like and leaving those messages trying to help with their good will, but it is not an easy task. Just wanted you to know about that, feel like letting you know :). Ow, Megadeth... was trying to play Peace Sells last night with my guitar :D. Also, thanks for the giveaways, I've entered a few of them!
And yes, you are beautiful.
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Thank you. ;_;
Thumbs up for Peace Sells. I was super lucky yesterday, won Rocksmith 2014, going to play some Megadeth too, as soon as I get the cable for it. :3
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You'll have such a great time playing Rocksmith if you can play the guitar :D. Not exactly what I would recommend to a beginner, but if you've been playing it for a year/couple of years it is just PERFECT (if you are a beginner it is ok as long as you take special care xD).
Go for that cable! You won't regret it! Be prepare to show more than 1000 hours of gameplay in your steam account! xD By the way, not sure if there are Megadeth songs out of the DLCs, I'm almost sure Public Enemy was included in the base game, but not so sure if it was in the 2014 edition or the previous Rocksmith game... Anyway, lots of songs to play!
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Well... I can't really play. I got my 2 guitars over 10 years ago, played a little, but got bored... and it's not exactly like with bike riding, that learn once and never forget... so yeah by now I'm probably back to the beginning with my coordination/muscle memory thing, but at least the theory part is still there, so maybe easier to start again. Not sure why you consider it bad for a beginner, I read so much good about Rocksmith, how easy and fun it is for learning...
I think Rocksmith has some kind of workshop like thing going on, I vaguely remember hearing about it, so most likely it's possibly to play songs that aren't official DLCs too.
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Yes, there are custom dlcs you can download, but my advice: stick to the main game for a while. There are lots of custom songs made by the community but either they are not accurate or they don't use the dinamic difficulty THE way it should be.
Didn't mean to say that Rocksmith was bad for the beginners. It is actually a powerful tool, but there are soooo many songs and game mods you may forget about how patience you need to be to actually learn how to play. Riff repeater and many other tools are there to learn how to play properly, so, it is more like "use Rocksmith properly and don't rush things" xD. Anyway, knowing the basics is cool for all that, so, you should be ok :D
Also, hard to explain all that in a foreign language lol.
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Being stuck in the 90's seems a bigger problem than social anxiety. ;_;
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One of the greatest actors ever :( R.I.P
how is it that he died right near movie's production ending uff same with Aaliyah :( at Queen of the Dammned movie, Brandon Lee from The Crow ...and Paul Walker too :(
It makes me think they are murdered...so many damn coincidences
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Too lazy to read through the whole thread, but looking at your picture, I can imagine all the guys were talking with you because it's nice to chat with a good looking girl who shares a common interest. No conspiracy there, just human nature.
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Thank you.
- Jack Black soundtrack *
"Allriiight!Rock oon brotha'!" (Well,or sistah :D but that's the movie quote :P
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Much more of Metallica guy myself but since I Must(aine) post Megadeth, here you go:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PrlrCiVTL0
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It's been kind of a stressful day in a good and bad way, so let me just rant and give away some games.
So, I won a ticket to a little gig. Nothing huge, just a 7€ thing, but anyway, trying to balance my karma here. There were bands that played Megadeth and Sepultura covers, and some OC bands too, but the main theme of the event was Megadeth's Rust In Peace. And yeah of course I wanted to wear my Megadeth shirt there, which was more like a nightgown to me so I spent the first half of the day trying to sew it into something wearable, and worrying if it will be ready in time. Managed to finish the shirt, but unluckily kind of messed up my planned hairdo so yeah more reason to be anxious over fugly hair. Did I tell you I have like probably every kind of anxiety there is? Well yeah.
Fast forward to the event, omgsomanypeople, like10oftheminthesameroom, trying to stay calm and all that. There was like 1 dude I knew and other dudes total strangers, and I swear they had some kind of conspiracy against my anxiety, because for some reason everyone talked to me. Well it was kind of cool to be not ignored as per usual but kind of scary anyway. And I even made a new Facebook friend. Still kind of anxious and weird, trying to chill down here... meanwhile, have gibses.
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/9AnZF/year-walk
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/2WpnT/bloodrayne
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/nvFWm/bloodrayne-2
Edit: I just noticed my whitelist number starts with 2 now, so throwing in a little extra, and let's make it a whitelist celebration thread, too:
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/VZ1Th/krautscape
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/gxdwi/grapple
You can post memes, gifs or anything cool. Especially stuff about Megadeth or anxiety.
Pic related, this is my anxiety-ridden face in Megadeth shirt, so everyone at the party could have a reason to ask me about my face, or my music taste.
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