thread for cool people. don't open unless you are cool. you've been warned.

The question everyone wants to know, "Who is Jon Snow's mother and why it is Megatron", is a very difficult question. First of all, I know nothing about either, and i don't feel like using Google to help me, so i will just state the obvious facts. Who is Jon Snow's mother? Well, I'm sure she is a very nice lady. Maybe she had a hard life? Maybe she had a huge transformation? Maybe she's really a squirrel ?I don't know, and I never will. What is Megatron? Isn't it just a big robot of some sort? We have tons of robots here! Why is a robot Megatron? Why is anything Megatron? Does Megatron even exist ? No, it doesn't. Jon Snow's mother is obviously Megatron. It's simple. After being pregnant with Jon Snow, she was out for a walk and was stuck by lightning. She was then transformed into a robot, and called herself "Megatron". So, if Megatron doesn't exist, then Jon Snow's mother doesn't exist, therefore God lied to us about not being able to be anything but human. So, if God lied to us, then he does not exist. if God doesn't exist, the world doesn't exist. If the world doesn't exist, mirrors don't exist. How can mirrors be real if our eyes aren't real? Life is just a lie, and so is the cake.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about Megatron you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of the decepticons, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids for the all spark, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in auto warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire decepticon forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit about Megatron over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the planet and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my robotic hands. Not only am I extensively trained in mechanical combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Unicron and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo. but yeah Megatron does like the that Snow poon.

cool

Who is Jon Snow's mother and why it is Megatron

Jon Snow -- snow as in ice --- mother --- woman / female. Jon Snow's mother is Elsa from Disney's Frozen. Don't ask about the father. How does this relate to Megatron? Glad you asked. Megatron crashed in the ice and was frozen. Frozen Megatron. Ice created by Jon Snow's mother, Elsa. Proof? Here's all the proof I need. Michael Bay. What? You don't understand? Neither did he. He just mashed random stuff together and added explosions and called it Transformers. With Megatron, remember? I'm sure the "Love Expert" rock trolls are involved in this somewhere. I don't trust them. Neither should you. They work for Megatron. Who was Frozen. In ice. Created by Elsa. Jon Snow's mother. Okay, fine. Megatron is the father. Since Megatron is an alien, it just works differently.

Video proof

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Jon Snow's mother is Mitzi Del Bra because Agent Smith is Megatron in human form

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I'm coolish....but I always get megatron mixed up with metatron from supernatural...so, maybe i'm not that cool :(

Hey, I'm too cool to write some essay. Just add me.

Too bad, I already own Kitty Powers :p

Who is Jon Snow's mother and why it is Megatron?

Cool people write in invisible ink and here comes the 300 words. You should use the appropriate ingredients to read this essay.

You know? There was a Jonny Boy once. And it was Winter, k? So, Jon lived on da streets. In the Arctic. And once, he found nothing to eat, and therefore got colder and colder. He even tried to eat sticks from bushes and other weird stuff. Then somewhen when he was close to sleeping in, a shiny person appeared. 'nd then she picked him up and said "I have been waiting for you". So, Jonny Boy could not move anyways and the person carried him to a house. In this house, everything was even more shiny. He heard dumb sounds 'n stuff. Then she said "I never was human. I born you. Ever asked why you did not freeze to death while being naked outside in the Arctic? Well, it is because you are a robot."

BAM

(include orchestral strike sound here)
(read the following in some creepy pitched down voice.)

Then she continued "Mars is incapable of sustaining life. Our efforts to maintain the atmosphere are exhausted. The water tables and temperature decrease annually- as that our population. The only consequencial course of action is the conquest and occupation of Earth, our young sun-sided neighbour. The problem is of course the humen. They have developed primitive intelligence and infrastructe- yet their society is structured around unnecessary conquest and conflict. A rapid offensive to their social and economic heart should prevent any significent opposition. The means and methods for this attack are already being realized. We haven't had the need for such destructive weapons for thousands of years, but modifications to our current technologies will take place and prove fitting to defeat the inferior humen defences. That is also why we are here were no human can find us, bc is cold and so on."

(in the sky you can see green light pulses coming from outer space).

Um, if you are interested in how the topic goes on, find out what I am refering to :D
Also, that should explain why the mother is Megatron. To defeat the humen and so on, ok?
PS: the beginning was my part of the work, I just tried hard to include it into the stuff I am currently listeninig to, I hope you appreciate it ^^ :D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSCzDykng4g

"Who is Jon Snow's mother and why it is Megatron"
Because Jon of House Snow, first of his name, king of the toilet-seat-at-the-wall and protector of the door-of-the-armory was a Jon, who used to Snow regularly, and enjoyed snowing. One day, while snowing, he realized that he was the protector of the door-of-the-armory. He had read enough MLG Pro Qu1cKsc0p3rs Xxx_b1tcHsw@gPu$$y_sl@y33r_xxX oPt1ccF@zEcl3nn novellas to know that LUMINATI CONFIRM. He rushed to Samwell of House Tarly, first of his name, bannerman to the fucking-books-in-the-lord-commanders-personal-library and confirmed his worst suspicions, that My Little Pony was Little after all. So he sat on his direwolf, Ghost, and got sued by PETA for not punishing his direwolf hard enough ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Then, he put 2+XxxNoSc0p3=Smoke Weed Everyday, and hit the realization that Armory = Weapons and Stuff. Other than getting sued for committing domestic violence, he joined the dots in the coloring book kept at King Joffrey's room. While getting marched down to the gallows, he suddenly put his hand in his pocket and started wrestling with an "anaconda" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) After getting defeated, he lay on the floor, took out his Walkman, and started playing Hallowed Be Thy Name out loud. Then Megatron, Sky Forme, came down from the sky and said
"Jon, I'm your mother."
Jon: "Oh so that's why I'm the protector of the door-of-the-armory."
Megatron: "Yes."
Then megatron conjured a toy figurine of Megatron from the anime, and started masterbating, meaning that he was playing with himself
The end

Warning: This essay contains major spoilers both for Game of Thrones and Transformice.

We all know that (except Jon Snow) Jon Snow is a poor bastard. Some others also know that Megatron had an unexpected child in the one of her visits to Earth, while in Florida. Some say that someone from Stark family couldn't handle the cold anymore and took a flight to Florida. I think there is enough evidence.

end of spoiler

Megatron has always had trouble with his love life, but he wanted a son so much. So he enlisted Kitty Powers' help in finding a match in order to conceive. Unfortunately the only partner Kitty thought might be interested was Eddard Stark. It turned out that Eddard wasn't willing to help, but Megatron was desparate, and being the bully he was (he even got a scholarship for it), took Eddard's DNA by force and went on to create a laboratory child.

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Typical day off in King's Landing. Everyone drink till they pass, plough till they pass and do all that fun things You can do at Flea Bottom. It happened that distant Nedd Stark's relative - Tony Stark - walked tino the brothel called Cybertron. He asked for the strongest, toughest, ugliest girl, and there she was... She walked down the stairs naked. Her skin was shiny and firm. Her name was Megatron.
Because Tony Stark was deep into kinky stuff he asked her to fight with him. She agreed under one condition - if she win, he will introduce her to King in the North. He agreed-> they fought in the brothel, then outside the brothel(pics)-> he loose and because he is man of his words he sent raven to Nedd explaining whole situation, -> Nedd agreed to do the meeting, had crush on Megatron-> Jon snow happened-> Jon snow know nothing.

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WITNESS ME and all the stories in this thread

bump. I mean bump

As we know from 'A Song of Ice and Fire' books, Jon Snow is the bastard son of Ed Stark, Lord of Winterfell. But what books don't tell you is that Ed Stark and Megatron had an affair one cold night of January. He first met Megatron when this last one was on the Earth in a reconnaissance patrol for a future invasion. Megatron was in his horse form, a transformation that he used frequently in the past. Ed Stark mistook him for a real horse and, with a graceful jump, he mounted Megatron. At first Megatron resisted, bucking for a long time, but then he started to feel pleasure, and finally he let that Ed rode him at a gallop all the night. At the morning, when Lord Stark was coming back to his castle, Megatron introduced to him. Ed was surprised at first to find a talking horse, but from his grandfather's stories he knew that North lands can be a strange place full of weird creatures, so he got used soon. Megatron loved Ed, but even if Lord Stark enjoyed that night, he was a married man, and a GOOD man who NEVER cheated his wife (knowingly, at least). Megatron returned to Cybertron sad, but after 5 days, while he was testing his rocket launchers, he shot a human baby (!!!). Well, the baby was a human-machine hybrid, but doctors of Cybertron managed to remove all the cybertronic parts out of his body, with only some minor consequences, the boy would have a mourned face the rest of his life. Megatron came back to Earth and gave Eddy the baby, fruit of love between them. Ed called him Jon (mix between January and Megatron), and when he returned to his home he invented a story about a serving girl named Wylla so his wife accepted the baby. Meanwhile, Megatron fell depressed and he never again transforms into a horse. And when he heard of his lover's death, he swore eternal vengeance against all the humans.

"Who is Jon Snow's mother and why it is Megatron"

The allspark is a mysterious thing, no one truly knows what powers Primus imbued into in.. Back in the mid 80's Megatron the maniacal was on the verge of total victory over the autobot menace. The known terrorist Optimus Prime was dead and the weapon of mass destruction known and the Matrex of Leadership was in the Glorious Leaders possession, and he was about to use it to leash Unicron the destroyer to his iron will.

At this point histories tell that megatron was destroyed and remade into Galvatron, however this is not what truly happened. Megatron, being the true leader of all transformers opened the matrix of leadership unleashing the powers of the allspark onto the universe. The techno-mystical energies released transported Megatron to an alternate universe and imbibed him with the life giving powers of the allspark itself.

Alone on an underpopulated world, the glorious Megatron soon grew board, and attempted to create life. Alas Megatron for all his glory was not a god, and could only create inferior ape like biological life. Still the great one's boredom was truly awe inspiring, so he populated this world with these apes.

May years later, while laughing at the apes killing each other, Megatron met a particular ape named Ned Stark. On a bit on whimsy Megatron combined Ned Stark's DNA with the energies on the allspark to create a son, baffled and ashamed by this turn of events, Ned start swore to never talk about that day again, and took his son to rase him on his own.

one more bump