https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.kebab.Llama&hl=en

best advice i got yesterday was to start using this

If you don't know how to potato, just potato.

If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down

Random fact that will come useful one day

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Kill the dogs first.

If you're over 25 never say how old you really are amongst the Heretics, everyone will just call you "mom".
I realize I'm a bit late with this one for you Llama but it might save some other poor souls xD

If a bird shits in the sand, don't use said sand.

if you don't trust your anus, don't eat ananas in a whole.

My advice: Don't turn to the internet for advice.

life hacks?!

Don't try to remove the gum on your face with acetone.

Rod Stewart — 'Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house.'

Don't feed the troll

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dont juggle chainsaws

Do not eat yellow snow.

don't look back

Never try to clean a rotating saw with your tongue: that's a rookie mistake.

Don't use chemical depilatory for your special place.

Stop spitting on people's faces!

BEEP!

INSERT LLAMA CRAP

PROCESSING

DONE!

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I always advise people not to take advice.

never get involved in a land war in Asia

If the sign says "do not feed the bears" man you better not feed those bears!